“I’ve cried twice in my life. Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li’l Sebastian had passed.”
“When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”
"Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that"
"The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes." -Ron Swanson quotes to live by