Marching Band Song - Impenetrable

This piece will probably not be finished for a while. Depending on your feedback, I may do this with more songs so that I don't forget to finish them and I can receive tips from my audience :)
This is a marching band song for my school ACHS, and I would like them to play it, but it needs to be worthy, we have an amazing marching band and I don't want to display some kind of subpar composition. Please tell me if you like this piece or if you have any suggestions. Thank you for listening :)

(I'm worried my band director will reject it, I'm pitching it for the next marching band season, when I'll be a senior. I just hope he likes it lol / especially enough to the point where the marching band would play it)