I've been undergoing a lot of stress over the past few months, and it's been pressuring me so hard to the point to where I'm starting to become an utter jackass again.
I've been keeping it all in, and that's causing me to be more aggressive. My issues have increased, because of me being stupid enough to release my stress on things I shouldn't.
I want to be fun again.
I'll be interacting with the community still, a little bit.
And no this one won't last one damn day like all the others lol
Some key things that are triggering my stress would be..
My grades, I'm not normally under As and Bs, but recently.. I've been way under.
Hiding my sexuality, as a bisexual male in a christian family, I've been constantly paranoid of them figuring it out. My entire school knows, they could figure it out at any moment.
My lover, I've barely been able to talk to him recently. Everything we talk on is blocked, so we can only talk on shit like Recroom. Hate being long distance with only a school chromebook to talk on.
Myself. I shame myself all the time. Every mistake I make is a bit of shame I put on myself. Every name I'm called, every argument, everything I lie about. Every time I push my friends away from helping me by telling them I'm okay and happy as can ever be.
My own music- I've felt like it's not good enough, XD. Whatever I make, sure it's good, but it's not as good as I want it to be. I know there's room to improve, and learn, but whatever I try never works because it's hard to simply even place a few notes nowadays. I've had over.. 50 scores, I believe, where I've had an idea, placed notes, and.. Then I give up! Simple as that. It's annoying.